My top 10 ‘break up, although you were never together’ songs and why I hate to cry in front of people
Everybody likes a break up song, admit it. Although it’s sad or angry, we all recognize the emotions.
It has to do with the loss and the process of letting someone go. Not actually with the love we used to have or could have had.
I believe in every encounter with someone there’s lesson to be learned. And sometimes that hurts and you lose control over mind and body.
I personally hate it when I cry in front of the person who makes me feel like this although it’s not his fault I feel like this.
Projection is a common thing if you look at it from the perspective that you are never responsible for someone’s reaction on you.
Turn it around: the other one is also not responsible for your reaction on him/her.
With the recent cry I did learn that my lesson was to respond more from my core. I tend to adjust, especially with the dominant kind of the human species. (Do note: I was hanging at a festival for three days in a row and it was 2:30 in the morning so that might had something to do with the whole draaaamaaaa)
It’s not that I am insecure but more of a very open, emphatic and curious human so it always gets me by surprise when I am actually hurt or angry.
It also got me by surprise someone could hit me in the heart in a positive and negative way all together.
It made me doubt if I ever really truly loved before because this was confusing from the first kiss and I felt like I was hit by a train and dragged over the rails for six months.
Because this beautiful, intelligent, creative, funny and very complicated person does not talk, but just makes bold statements after drawing conclusions while not having all the information for some reason and is not able to truly listen to what I say (probably because I was not using the right words and instead of communicating from my true self I was just trying so hard not to show my weak knees, high blood pressure and sweaty armpits while stuttering away like an idiot) we lost contact. And that’s ok.
Conclusion after a long, hard thinking and losing sleep over it process: I did love truly and deeply before, no doubt about it.
This unanswered love was just different and that made me confused.
I am glad it’s over and I was able to pick myself up off that rails and found new energy to push through with my work as a teacher, singer and be me again without the weak shaky knees. I refuse to feel ashamed over these feelings I had and I hope he is ok too. I wish him all the best.
My question for you: what is your top 10 ‘break up, although you were never together’ songs?
1 John Paul White – Beulah – I want to make you cry
2 Gregory Alan Isakov – Songs for October – Crooked Muse
3 Donna Missal – keep lying – keep lying
4 Ane Brun Teitur- Duets – Rubber and Soul
5 Tina Dico – Whispers – As far as love goes
6 Ray LaMontagne – Gossip in the Grain – Old Roses and Cigarettes
7 Kaleo – A/B – No good
8 Colter Wall – Imaginary Appalachia – Living on the Sand
9 Lera Lynn –The Avenues– Comin’down
10 Sheryl Crow – The Globe sessions – Riverwide
Psssst don’t forget! The crowdfunding for the new album ‘HURRICANE’ is still running! Get your package here! http://bregjesannelacourt.com/hurricane
Bregje Sanne Lacourt releases the most depressing album of 2017!!
The true story behind ‘HURRICANE’
Why? You may ask yourself?
There is a thin line between the artist making music or art for themselves because they need to. Just like breathing/sleeping/eating and making music or because it’s their profession and people want to buy it and you need them to buy it. (for the breathing/sleeping/eating)
I, myself, struggle with that thin line or concept, whatever you want to call it. There is this profound need in me to write music. There is also a profound need to write music on my own terms which means I need to ventilate my emotional life. (yes you can say that’s selfish J)
As you may know (or not), I used to write music for other artists with a publishing deal. I started when I was 24 and was so excited to be working with all those great producers and got credits for being able to write music or lyrics on the spot in assignment of a particular artist. The thing is, it had nothing to do with how I feel personally or feel my music. It was more of a craft instead of a way of moving people with my emotions and experiences wrapped in a song.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned a lot about songwriting and writing lyrics at that time. I even wrote my thesis on it while graduating conservatory.
After I quit, I started some projects with co- writers and eventually released the album ‘The Keeper of Changing Winds’.
Then 2015 happened.
For 1,5 years it has been shitty and not just your regular ‘I am being hormonal, give me chocolate’ shitty but more of a ‘I am broke, lost my job, people die, broke up with my love, my cat hates me, I am working in a bar now, I am feeling depressed, hyperventilating through life, I am living in this black hole but society thinks I need to be successful en make baby’s, I feel pretty lonely, I only want to lay in bed and not answer any incoming calls and I can’t sleep’ shitty.
Also known as the 30+ (on the highway to 40) midlife crisis.
My fellow 30+ people will know, because we all get this once in our lifetime.
So! That’s what happened and maybe I am no Beyoncé (I love her!) who can create this brilliant 2 hour movie about her own midlife crisis called ‘Lemonade’ with all her fame and money. But I do have the need to ventilate this crisis of mine. Although I don’t have a child named Blue Ivy and a famous husband cheating on me with hookers and getting into a fight with my sister in an elevator.
I got therapy, I started running 3x a week, lost 15 kilos, started smiling again and most important, I sleep (a lot)!! Hooray!
I am not looking for pity, I don’t need a pat on the back with a ‘well done’ and also no chocolate. I need to record this album for myself and hopefully for all of you who need recognition for your own HURRICANE. I promise you: It will make you cry and maybe even feel angry or depressed but it will also make you smile and feel less alone in this crazy world where there are so many expectations. Let’s stop with trying to be perfect and live a little <3
I do need your help with recording this album so check out my crowdfundingcampaign http://bregjesannelacourt.com/hurricane/
An ocean of love and yours truly, Bregje Sanne Lacourt